whatever....

I wanted to post something nifty here but I'm just not feeling it so you get to look at boobies.....

Smart thinking, I'd read THESE instruction!

Thankfully, she left her pants in the back seat....

I thought briefly that this was a vintage pic but no, she's just having a convulsion.....as sexy sexy convulsion.

Early biker mag pic?

She's an ex-crack head/stripper who married Marilyn Manson so she's a wingnut, she's also damned hot.

Still life with undies....

Uhhh....umm....buhh.....brain. short. circuit.

Yup, works for me....

I really want to say something here but I'm too fucking distracted by her ass.

D for Dangerous

...needs a real video.....

I've seen the good Rev a couple times live and it's always a crazy night. Even if you aren't into psychobilly, this kat tears it up. 

 

This is just smokin'! My buddy Troy of the amazing Willow bike build pointed this one out to me. Heh, Troy has become quite the source of fun new tunes for me....keep'm coming brother! 

I have a couple fun things coming later this afternoon as well as another update for Sakura...same bat time, same bat channel.

MV gets some tail......

Nice shiny paint.....

Welcome to the next of hopefully many to come from my friend Mike Dock: Mechanist, Folklorist, Generalist, Pugilist and recreational Phlebotomist. 

 Barstool Philosophy  

by Mike "VonYinzer" Dock

So, I’m back for round two. Our Great and Pulsating Leader has graciously accepted another installment of my ramblings that I think I shall call “Barstool Philosophy.” I’m pretty excited to keep working on this series of diatribes for you fine people. Hopefully as it continues it gets better. If you good people out in reality have anything you would like for me to discuss, please let us know. If you jerks out there have anything shitty to say, also let us know. Please include your address and next of kin with complaints. 
    I kid, of course. My job here is to give you all another reason to keep signing in, and I really want to do that as well as I can. I'll admit from the beginning that I am no trained writer, nor am I interested in discussing most of the crap that it seems the guys and gals who focus on motorbikes, hot rods, beer, and whatnot in their ramblings seem to care so much about. Which, brings me to my first real topic…
 
    Hey motorcycle, classic car, music, and similarly themed magazine editorial staffers; FUCK OFF. Honestly. The arrogance and self serving bile many of you seem to thrive on pushing is just sad. There is a certain motorcycle magazine that I believe is the only real rag out there that covers the kind of home built and underground bikes most of us are into. Well, it used to be. It seems that the majority of their recent editorials and even articles are only written to extol the virtues of their staff. Lots of “they just wish they were us” and “we did it first and best.” I don’t disagree with that, but shut the fuck up about it. That’s the exact mentality that sunk your competition when you came on the scene. In the beginning you focused on the bikes, the builders, and the shit we cared about. Now it’s articles about “budget builds” that easily top the $10k mark, and are only that cheap because their built by pros with full machine shops and piles of parts at their fingertips. Or we get blatant ads for your buddies companies thinly veiled as articles. C’mon people, get back to what matters. The machines and the kats that are out here in the real world making them happen. I’m not saying that you should never cover a radical custom that was built by a master as that stuff helps to fuel our fires in the garage, but let’s get back to our roots. Bring it back to the underground where the real people live.  Whew… That felt nice. Ha-ha.
 
    Next up on the block; I got me a new motor scooter. She’s a pretty nice 1973 Yamaha TX650. I was in serious need of a daily beater and my main man Justin found her for $400 in Maryland. Clean title, starts on the first kick, all the wires end up where they’re supposed to and all the lights come on. Pretty damn good deal with the prices vintage bikes (and especially the TX/XSs), are commanding these days. Anyhow, that’s enough gloating. I’ll get to the point.

   When I first got the bike, I had grand dreams of what I would do to it over the shit-box of a winter we have here in South-West PA. There were visions of candy paint, Tokyo 'BratStyle'  frame mods, vintage MX tanks, and so forth. After getting her home though, I can’t bring myself to do it. I know I will someday, but right now I have been without proper two-wheeled transport for so long I think I’ve gotten gun-shy about cutting anything up. I can still see the finished project in my head. I have still gone through the planning aspect of the build. I just don’t know if I can cut her up…

   That said, Im going to make her as pretty and cool (in my book) as I can without tearing her down. Maybe a bit of tracker flair? Maybe a little café style? Who knows? One thing I am sure of, is that The Grand Poombah and Exhalted Schwang here at Homage will be getting an order for some neat-o dress up bits soon, so keep an eye out for some beautiful hand-made pieces like nothing else on the road showing up in these here pages. No matter what happens to the TX, it’ll happen the way I want it to, which leads me to the next bit of rusty slag left on the floor for your enjoyment.

STOP BUILDING BIKES BASED ON WHAT PEOPLE OTHER THAN YOU THINK IS BITCHIN!!! 

   Please people, the best part of this culture is the creativity. It’s the drive to build that machine that YOU alone have imagined and will enjoy. Sure I have my influences, like anyone of us do. I’ll be the first to admit that the bikes our Japanese brothers and sisters have been building over the past 20 years or so rest high on my mental mantle place of badassery. The stuff the So-Cal boys were turning out in the 50s and 60s get my shorts tight. Hell, the stuff coming out of Norway, Sweden, and the rest of the Viking lands as of late is stunning as well, and don’t get me started on the 40s through 60s era East and West coast Kustom and Hotrod kats were putting out. Hell, if it was legal to marry a machine the present owner of the Hirohita Merc better lock that beautiful creature up!

   But what I and so many other see nowadays is people building for fashion, not from the soul. That’s a bummer. If I have one more flannel shirt and Vans wearing twenty year old kid tell me that his “customized” EVO Sporty is “what it’s all about” or “based on the true kings of custom bikes like Jesse James” (both real comments I have heard, and no disrespect meant to Jesse, but c’mon…) I may lose it. I don’t care what you wear. I don’t care what beer you drink. I don’t care who you’re fucking. I don’t care what you ride. But, come at me as if you’re some kind of badass because you bought every article of clothing you saw a dude wearing in the last issue of Greasy Kulture, and had the local HD dealership “build” your catalogue “custom” and I may not be the nicest guy you meet that week. Sorry, but theres enough fake shit in the cesspool as is. Don’t need to pile anymore in.

   Now, I’m not trying to be a dick here. If you didn’t know me, you would probably think I was one of those guys at first glance. And really, the difference in negligible except for the fact that I refuse to subscribe to the “what’s cool now” mentality. I have looked like this, and been interested in this shit since before it was HDs newest marketing campaign, and will continue to be after they design the next one. Does that make me “cool” or “original?” Hell NO. I’m a fucking nerd. I love superhero movies, and hanging out with my wife while watching crappy TV shows, and I personally own two cats. Yes, two cats. I listen to shitty 80s music, and have no shame in telling you all that I think my Grandmother may the coolest person I know. The main difference between guys like myself, and the aforementioned fellas, is that I make it a point everyday to stay true to who I am inside.

   I think being a good person, and focusing on what makes you and others close to you happy is what it’s all about. And that shows in the machines we create. Look at the Honda CB360 being built by our friend Troy.
    (note: click the link below the pic for WAY more)

http://www.dotheton.com/forum/index.php?topic=24567.0

I can promise you, that that bike is ONE OF A KIND. And how is it that a guy can create something so unique? It’s because he stays true to what matters. 


His vision. 
His focus isn’t on what he looks like or what random strangers will think. It’s on the bike, and the world he lives in. Not some magazines idea of what’s cool or some punk kids opinion. He keeps his house in order, and in turn his mind is free of bullshit. In the end, the motorcycle becomes part of him and vice versa. That’s the part I think so many people miss about this crazy ass life. It’s not something you can dive into, gold card in one hand and the latest Dark Customs book in the other and expect to be part of anything meaningful. You have to earn your stripes like anywhere else in the known universe. Be you a café guy, or a chopper builder, or just a guy who digs bikes to the point that it’s more than a hobby. You need to really focus on what matters before you can become a real creator. A machine like the ones we love that is created by a man with no soul is no better than something that rolled off of the showroom floor at your local dealer. And if that’s all we wanted to throw a leg over or slide into the drivers’ seat of, we wouldn’t be in the garage trying to find our idea of the perfect bike or car now would we?

   Find your own center, and be your own man. It’s the only way to achieve what you set out to. And for the kats that really only care about the fashion, and glory… Well, you’ll always be able to spot them from a mile away. Which in my opinion is about ten miles too close.
 
    Thanks again for reading ladies and germs. And again, if you folks have anything to say in response, hit up The Master and Commander here on the email tip. Now in the immortal words of Mr. Natural, “Be like two fried eggs, and keep the sunny side up.”

-Mike D.

(I kinda feel like I should meditate on my chakras now or maybe cock-punch a hipster....Oh what the Hell it's Friday, hipster it is!)

See Bill. See Bill run......run Bill run!

The kat in the hot seat above is Bill, he knows how to go fast on the salt. Bill has a land speed record with his name on it. I kinda think Bill is my hero.....

Sakura the Sake Rocket pt.2

Loving the electric Leg

First cracked open and while it's all in good shape it is definitely cruddy. Not shown was the fun involved in getting the planetary gear drive out of the end cap. That process involved grinding up a pair of old needle-nose pliers, some bleeding and fairly spicy language. I took the opportunity to add fresh grease and the whole assembly now spins very smoothly, noticeably better than before.

A dirty dirty girl (the very best kind) but even the commutator was in great shape along with the brushes, bearings and bushings. Good deal.

And what it looks like presently, with a little wrinkle black paint and nothing more than some brass tube slipped over the screws. It's amazing how much that fancied up a rather mundane piece. I've decided to replace the long screws with stainless hex right along with the engine screws and will likely turn some nicer decorative brass tubes to replace the straight stuff.

Building a seat V.1.0

A simple pattern drawn on some corrugated plastic sign material I had laying around. I cut it out and worked the two pieces such that it sat right as I wanted.

 

I'm a big fan of reusing materials when I can. It helps keep good stuff out of the landfills and saves some cabbage too. I wanted a seatbase that wasn't entirely flat and was preparing myself to form it from thicker material and shape it with a sureform. Then my 15 year old office chair died. It was fate I'm sure that forced the long forming crack in the base to finally let go at the opportune moment. Booyah, seat base.....

Cut, hack, chop, mangle, bleed, swear.....etc......

You can see here where the base wood has been pocketed to fit snugly onto the frame. A couple turned studs up front and a patch of industrial hook & loop (not the worthless shit that's on Grandad's bingo shoes) at the rear between the cutouts..

Here's the rough cut and formed pieces laid on the frame to give me an idea where I wanted to start forming and shaping.

At this point I got it shaped and decided not to fiberglass the base, after standing on it braced between a couple cinder blocks. Held my sizable self up just fine without a single protest. Instead I tried a product called KwikPoly with a little black dye added, it's extremely thin and soaks right into the wood making it pretty much invulnerable to fuel, water, oil or smashed bankers.

Pretty simple stuff here, trace, cut (bleed more)...etc...

A little forming by way of the palm sander

I added a cover of 3/8" open cell foam to smooth out the padding under the upholstery.

Oh yeah, here's the underside after I coated the whole thing in the kwikpoly. This has a really interesting...almost plastic feel now.

Which leaves us here.......the black 'race foam' that I used turns out to be not so nice on anything other than a...say it with me.....race seat. This bike isn't going racing and in the end after sitting on it briefly I've decided that it's just not comfortable. I run the exact same stuff on cafe seats and seat cowls on sport bikes but this just isn't working out. As well, while I dig the 'Brat Style' seats a lot I think this one needs something a bit more ass friendly. Plus, the mental image I had didn't turn out in practice. I'd intended to have the  padding and upholstery sweep out along side the rear fender with a small butt pad added to the fender itself. I've since decided that is stupid and whomever thought of it should be hit with a stick......if I could just figure out who that guy was. Don't tell me...I'll think of it eventually.

Moral of the seat building story....just because you put a shitload of time and effort into something doesn't mean it's going to end up at all worth while. I think I'll go have a beer and pout. And figure out a new seat.......

Perhaps a day of randomness is good......

So I'm stuck in a holding pattern here whilst awaiting some parts so I had a few minutes to goof around and found this. No, it's not a fake, yes it's in Japan.
When we lived in Tokyo we got so used to this kinda stuff we rarely laughed but we sure do now.......

Yeah I dig it......more.

So if you saw the post below, I'm sure you noticed the interesting bike. Neat to be sure but Willow here just really works for me. 

Still in the fab/mock up stages and I'm posting this as a simple teaser. For those of you not in the know, this was build in a gravel floored 'garage' without the aid of any really expensive equipment. If this doesn't motivate us to get off out collective asses and MAKE SOMETHING...then we suck and our only remaining purpose is to heap praise on the kats that do. 


More to come, oh yes....there will be more.

Yeah.... I dig it..

 I can't remember where I ran across this one, but I really like it. It's not often that someone approaches custom motorcycle building with a totally fresh eye but this guy did. Unfortunately I don't know anything about it other than it was build in France. If anyone has details on this unique bike drop me a line and I'll update this post and my own files. It appears to be a leaner too which is neat, and in my opinion the only way to do a three wheel bike and maintain any kind of soul.

You know you'd HAVE to.....I would.

Sakura the Sake Rocket

Sakura is Japanese for Cherry Blossom, it will be a running element in this bike's final form. 

Not so blossomy in this form, as I acquired her. This was after 4 hours of diligent scrubbing and cursing. This is one of those bikes that some shmuck bought, road for a couple seasons and parked next to his garage to lemming off after his next societal fix. 

My buddy Big Myk bought it, not knowing anything about motorcycles and being overwhelmed, she sat neglected again for a further 3-4 years before coming to me after his cat tried to mate with both my new couches. 
note: The cafe seat is just propped on it in this pic, as my initial plan was to build her into a canyon machine.

27xx miles, empty rear shocks and three dead mice shot out of the exhaust when I got her fired up....cool! Typical abused wiring...why do people think it's ok to do stupid shit to a bike that one would NEVER do to a car? Left turn signal......headlight flashed, sorta. Step on the rear brake pedal and the neutral light glowed faintly. Fuck me.....


Stick with my while I cram a diamond up this goats ass....

Here's the frame after a little chopping and hacking. Nothing outrageous here just a good solid platform.

I'm still working on taking pics as I go so there's nothing showing the grinding and detabbing process. It was done rudely and with much malice using a hacksaw, 5" side grinder, some files and various flap wheels. I had grit in my hair and teeth when I got home. It was fun!

Here it is all smoothed and purdy with a nice new coat of black epoxy. Also shown is the CB360 swingarm which is a couple inches longer than the OEM piece. As it sits, the strut is at 11" and the bar in the swingarm is at centerline for the 19" wheel and tire I'll be running back there. The front will be lowered to suit but this is the static ride height she'll have once on two wheels again. I'll be setting up the rear for approximately one inch of  droop sag leaving a remaining 2" of compression. Hey at least it's not a hardtail, there will be a little suspension.....maybe.....

Much more to come....later.

Swapmeet Louie's XS650 'The G'asshole'

My buddy Swaps is a topshelf kat, always has his mits in some rig or another and this is one of his latest. After having the Discovery Channel OCC style bikes(?) crammed down our throats it's welcome to see something clean and functional but loaded with personality. On top of being a talented bike builder he's also a giant personality and has agreed to write some for me here so look forward to that. In the mean time, take a gander at what you should be riding if you're not canyon carving.

At the Idaho State Pen 

Sadly the lovely original paint-job didn't survive a leaky tank......

Motorcycle building for G'assholes

Caption contest time kiddies......

Ok here's the deal, you can submit as many captions as you want, the ones that makes me smile or laugh the most....win.
Simple.
Winners get a sticker and a cookie. Well, maybe a cookie but definitely sticker and a 10% discount 'coupon' for some bauble or another that I can make.

Send your captions to me here at homagemotoworks-at-gmail-dot-com and put 'Caption' in the subject line. I'll choose the best on Friday July 29th and they'll be posted here for all to enjoy. Bring it on!




Oh yeah and just because I love you all like family:

(not part of the caption contest)