Teh Secks

Pretty much says it all, dunnit? From Rude Mechanicals

No new biz until Monday April 2nd (4/2/12)

No new biz until Monday April 2nd (4/2/12)

Well, it looks like I've reached the point of saturation. It's a good 'problem' to have when you're attempting to 'do biz' but it's a problem just the same. Yes, I *could* take more orders and might actually get things done in a decent time frame....maybe. But, more likely as one-off projects are want go, things get stretched out and there's someone who's gonna be pissed. 

I'm too damn cranky to deal well with emails like this: 

"Where's my SuperspeedyTotallyAwesomeFaster3000?? You said it'd be done in time for Uncle Mortie's trackday coming out party! Ima go get on internet forums and saw bad things about you and your mom!"

Luckily, my customers are not that shitty, so I hope you can all understand....in the interest of keeping everyone happy I'm holding off on new work until 4-2-2012. Those of you who have a deal in the works, it's all good and I've taken your project into account so all's well. For the rest....it's only a month so hang in there.


Jordan: 
Still STILL grinding on your frame but it's coming much closer. You should stop by and take a look if you have time. Removing the shock mount gussets REALLY lightened it appearance a lot. You know that SOLID steel master cylinder mount? Yeah...really was solid steel! Weird huh? Hey, before I hack off the centerstand mounts you should gimme a call or a visit, had a thought........

Haven't received the reamer for the pivot bolt, will call'm this afternoon.

Zoot: your swingarm conversion is done. I feel slightly dirty.....


Chris:
I should be posting pics of your finished top clamp this afternoon. The CF inserts gave me a headache but the payoff is worth it, you'll dig it! Your clutch cover is in the works and won't be recognizable when it's done. Material for your spacers should be here tomorrow so I can get them turned up too, just trying to tie all three sections together. I think I'll have to invent a piece of tooling to do what I want but that's cool.

Bob:

I should have your porting done this month too so you can get the mean little 350 buttoned up! Should be a beast mate!

Samantha: (Smart women order custom work from me!!)
Just got your seatbase this afternoon so I'll get the mounting layout and the electric pan made this month too. Should be a nice change (your feet will touch the ground! haha) and the bike should shed 20 pounds of beef too! Cool beans....

Jay: 
Shocks should be shortened and all sorted by the deadline, 9" is pretty short mate but I trust your measurements. Plus....it's your bike and your kidneys mate...hahaha


You Clip-on lot(again):

Haha....where the hell did all of you nutters come from? Shazam!....out of the blue I'm up to my neck with orders, great but...wow. 

Anyway, for reading public: I have 23 sets of clip-on blocks to make in three styles, 7 different fork bores, two different bar diameters, 2,3&4 bolt styles, 36 individual sections of aluminum bar stock in three different lengths for use as handlebars for the ones I'm supplying. Yeah....lots to do.

If I didn't mention your name here is means I don't like you, you dress funny and smell like cheese. 

Ok not really, mainly I'm crunched for time and am rushing...so bite it.

Oh yeah, the filler.......

for the sash. Ok...it's her ass.......

I survived and every scar I have comes complete with a good story! Maybe we're doing it wrong these days....?

This is the kind of badass old kat I plan on being when I get all croaky.

I'm pretty sure he's throwing down with a 23 yearold Pirelli umbrella girl. Maybe two of them. He moved on to track trim after getting bored with Victoria's Secret models.....

Truth is, I've lost my info on this set of pics so if anyone knows anything please pipe up huh?

....bike? What bike?

80's Superbike goodness!

Be good humans..........
.

Just a little fan service .......err....Horde Service.....

Courtesy of your friend and mine, Redbird

This morning is sit on my ass and wait for a delivery time so.....

This kat is really happy!

So this morning I'm sitting around waiting for a delivery that's been delayed four times thus far. jerks. But what the hell...I'm looking at funny gifs...think I'll share!

Bahahahaha! Never gets old....

I uhh....., so there was thi......ummm......wow sorry I'm distracted. Katy Perry might make me want to dig my ears out of my skull with a die grinder but she's good to look at!.

Her: I brought curly fries.......
Him: .......Bitch................

No really....it'll happen.....

Skinny or chubby......

not much to report.

trying to decide, thoughts of the horde?

I think something fell off.......

Skinny...

Chubby...

I've decided to swap from the CB360 swingarm (+1.5" give or take a little over stock) to an XS650 swingarm for more like 3" of stretch. It's also a better piece over all having much beefier tubes, axle plates and eye-eye shock mounts. I'll be using some neat old adjustable units I pulled off one of my XS850s and rebuilt. Typical spring perch adjustment with a damping 'clicker' at the top that allows a really broad swing in damping. Since the 850 is about 250 pounds heavier than this will be when buttoned up I have little worry about the shocks being up to the more laid over position. 

Truth be told I'm already sold on the skinny version but the pic does make an interesting point about relatively subtle changes having a big overall effect on the final product.

I posted about my Grams yesterday and it's only fitting that I post something about her counterpart. This was the other half of the piece posted yesterday. Also previously written......

Having consumed more than enough Jameson this evening the mind wanders where it will and mine staggered across the term "Merchant Marine' which in turn brought me to my Grandpa Huey.
 

Grandpa was a Merchant Marine in WW2, before and after that a working cowboy. The real deal as it were. As such, he was as colorful a character as you were likely to meet. He could talk for hours about life on the sea in the 40's, then turn around and tell the most outrageous stories about drifting ranch to ranch from here to eastern Wyoming. Tell about drinking himself to oblivion and allowing his horse to take him home......which is apparently exactly what you DO when you're hammered, on horseback. Horses know where the barn is, they know there's grain and hay there. Trust your horse.... 

He would sing old rowdy old songs when I was small and scared in the middle of the night. He'd sit for hours in the middle of the wood floor of the ranch house we lived in and play his harmonica and sing.......all for a little kid's nerves.

He taught me how to ride and shoot.....man could he shoot. He taught me how to fight, how to land a punch so the guys mom felt it. He taught me to hook a cheek so the other guy doesn't want to fight anymore, to flatten the bridge of your opponent's nose and similar tidbits of valuable information. He was a brawler supreme. 
 

He never did teach me to play that Harmonica.

He all but lived in his Acmes. I don't ever remember him not having them. Those old boots were the history of his life and the shores he'd stood upon, the places he'd seen. So old and worn, they were long blacked over their original brown. Blood, vomit, piss, cow shit, beer and countless sawdust tavern floors and muddy roads all took part in coloring the life into those boots. I never touched them.....they were damn scary.

When the holidays or an occasion rolled around Grandpa would stroll out in his chocolate brown western suit, nutmeg boots and matching cowboy hat. To my young eyes he looked like Roy Rodgers, Hopalong Cassidy and the Lone Ranger all rolled into one. Maybe a little less flashy and a bit more beery....but just like them.

He was generally an affable fellow, quick with a story (mostly of cowboy or sailor variety). He'd do anything for his buddies as long as beer was involved. It was beer for my grandpa because he'd get a wee bit fierce on whiskey.

I remember being very little, off "on the hill" which is what I called everything beyond the apple orchard behind the house, looking for a Christmas tree suitable for the big old house we all lived in at the time.
I remember him walking along the trail and me calling to him to slow down. His response: "If I go any slower I'll be going backward!". That became something of a joke for the family, but he made a show out of dropping his cigar and gave me a 'fancy meeting you here' look as I caught up just in time.
 
Grandpa where ever you happen to be, thanks.

                                                                                   

in other news.....

Welcome to the newest Hordesman with the neat blog "The TRX Project" you should check it out! I've had the hots for a TRX since I heard about them but they are quite scarce here in the states. It's a bike on my 'someday' list.

Content coming soon! 

Real live content....no really. I've been side tracked with customer stuff and haven't taken much time to snap pics since my shop camera is haggard. I picked up a nice little Cannon SD1400is that should take care of the general pic needs here so there will be more of that kind of stuff soon. I just need to finish porting all the stuff from this computer, DevilBox 2.6.2 to the newest one....Devilbox 2.6.3.

Jordan: Still hacking away at your frame but should have it smoothed out and the swingarm mods done soon. This thing is going to be really tough when it's done mate!

Bob: Haven't forgotten about you, finally have a block of time set aside to port that head for you so stay tuned. There will be pics!

Ringo: I'll have your bits ready to go by the 29th. I think you'll be pleased....there will be pics of these too!

You lot for Clip-ons: (you know who you are haha) I will get the material chopped up Friday so I can start hogging them out. If you're dallying you should make up your mind soon to get on on this batch run.

Bye Grams.....

I don't know what this week will hold for me, I could be a posting fool....I'll certainly try, but maybe there won't be anything either. Friday evening my Grams passed in her sleep after a long struggle with Alzheimer's and it's unhinged me just a bit. I've been sitting here in front of this 'Damn Box(tm)' trying unsuccessfully to write something cogent about a tough old lady that did more than her part to raise me ie; keep me out of jail or the doxy house. 

Trouble is I'm just not all here today so I'm going to regurgitate a couple pieces about my grand parents, written several years ago if you all don't mind:

circa 2000 give or take a few

What can I say about Grams? She's a pistol, but that doesn't even scratch the surface. She's tougher than any man I've even met. And I'm not talking mental toughness alone, I'd have pitted her against any man in an arm wrestling match. She was a tough lady all around. The last years of Grampa's life weren't much so she ran the ranch by herself for the most part. When I could get away (and travel 300 miles) I'd help and most everyone else did when time allowed, but she made do. Mending fences, tending the animals (20 - 30 head of horses, several hundred head of cattle, a pile of barn cats, five or ten working dogs, her house dogs, selling stock; which meant hauling said stock to market, house work...ok, minimal housework, vehicle or implement repair, canning, gardening, putting up hay for the winter (50+ tons)...you get the point. She could take it.
My Gram'ma grew up poor, 'Coal miner's daughter' poor. Everything was earned the hard way, with real hard work and real hard sweat. As she got older she worked in sawmills right next to the men. She did it all, hunting, fishing (including some long term gigs throughout Alaska) and was a pretty good looker to boot .
 

If Grampa taught me 'How and When' to fight, Grams taught me WHY. She taught me to be strong but not to be hurtful about it because it takes more strength to be gentle than the most barbaric individual could ever possess. She taught me to skin an elk. She let me drive the pickup 25 miles into town.....when I was 10! 

She also read to me when I couldn't sleep, told me stories until neither of us could stay awake and always made me drink a glass of milk while we listened the farm reports just before bed.....hey, when you're 8 and that's all the radio you can get.....?..........

Grams was always strong. For some reason when she did something it just seemed more.......Done. More somehow than when someone else did the same job.
Her hands were thick with muscle and tendon, thick stubby fingers tipped with blunt work shortened nails.
She really could crush a walnut between her fingers. No biggie right? I'm an imposing fellow, I can certainly crush a walnut IN MY HAND.........she used her thumb and finger. I shit you not. I saw her do it and learned a new respect right that moment....I was 20 at the time, full of piss and vinegar.....and humility.

My Grams loved me. I could just tell, even if she'd never said the words (which was pretty often) I knew. You just knew, even if all it was just a squeeze on the shoulder walking by. Even the little things came to mean as much as the words and hugs. Even if she spoke harshly (tough..remember?) you could tell. She wasn't deriding you but steering you back into the right direction......and being proud of you the whole time.  She spent a good amount if time steering me back on course……yeah......I might have been real Trouble if not for Grams…

Time passes...

I see my Grama now when I can, she's my Grams after all, but not enough. She's somehow turned into a little old lady. She stoops now, has bad knees and uses a cane for balance. She's a little forgetful but never forgets me. I just can't get over how this big powerful lady turned into a small frail old lady. Her hands still throw me. She's still got big thick powerful hands, most men would envy the strength left in that grip.

I miss my Grams and should call her more. I'm writing myself a note to call her tomorrow. She likes talking to me on the phone and always asks how my 'motorbike thing' is going.....Yeah I definitely need to call her, she makes me smile. My little old Irish Grandmother.

note: I did call her after I wrote this piece and like every time, I hung the phone up with a smile. 

I miss my grams a lot today.

Stolen moment

So...I don't get as much time to tinker on my own stuff as I'd like but needed a mental reset today so I took an hour and fucked around with Sakura. Felt good and has kinda re-lit my fire. This is a mockup but looks pretty much as I envisioned though the bars are only a place holder as I have......plans.

Holy shit! This almost looks like a motorcycle now! Please note that in reality the forks are sticking up 7" above the top clamp, I photochopped the shit right out of'm! Not only that but the pipes actually end right at the pegs, BUT.....this does give a good overall idea what I had in mind. I dig it!

A quickie front view, again the for tops have been p-chopped off. What I see now is that with the 10" shocks out back as planned, for it to sit level I'm looking at around 1" of front compression travel...total. That's not much and would probably be fine but I may go for 11" shocks and raise it up just a bit in front to match. It'll still be nice and low looking but somewhat less likely to beat me to death on the road. This front end is comprised of the triples from a 450/500t and the forks and front wheel from an XS650. The Honda forks may have shorter sliders so may be short enough to allow a wee bit more travel while lowered so i may do that, it's just that these 650 forks are is perfect condition.

She's still rocking my ultra high tech cardboard seatpan template but I'm pretty happy with the shape so can move forward with that though I'll form the pan from aluminum sheet and hammer some shape in up front then have someone competent upholster it in a nice dark tan leather.

So here you go...what I do to keep from going completely bugshit nutso on days that push me that direction.

For Trent

**Non-Disclaimer**

I like guns. 

I shoot them and admire them and collect them. I love them for the mechanism and the fact that for all the plastic packaging and whizzy laser sights, you can trace their lineage all the way back to ancient times. I have a very cool old flintlock that has almost the same trigger release mechanism as my Husqvarna 32cal Canadistanian Mounted Police pistol. Neat. Some of the most lovely engraving I've ever seen was laid not upon Granny's tea set but an old pistol.

Yes yes...guns kill people. But only when there's a persondouchebag pulling the trigger. I can lay out every one of mine, loaded on a table and dance around in front of them in your mom's undies and nothing will fucking happen. Except possibly horrified laughter from the neighbors.

Thing is there's lots of items that can kill so pissing and moaning about one machine, and that's all a firearm is...a machine, is patently stupid. 

To quote myself (cuz I'm so damned RAD) "I can kill you with a plastic baby spoon".

I can. But I won't because I like you.

An angry eight yearold with a claw hammer can kill you.

Grandma driving her Buick to bingo night will surely kill you. And she hates you.

(Sorry, she told me)

So, bring on the hatemail you few useless whiners. It's just a blog after all. I'll honor you with a post of your very own. Pussies.

Just lovely and would go very well with a pair of Granddad's cufflinks I have.

His and Hers love guns, went for $13,000 at auction! Now that's love....

La Femme Fatale......indeed.

These last two are old time spy pocket watch guns

 









http://www.thegunsman.com/tag/ring-gun/
 http://www.funforever.net/archives/spy-guns/

The truth is, while I think the pieces posted above are rad, I really like this kinda shit:

Loads more pics and info here http://www.collectorebooks.com/gregg01/Lot-111.htm

And one more for the road, bitchin parts don't make themselves....

4 dudes, one babe and one guitar.......fuck yes!

Filler Friday! I dig this song, it's getting good rotation but this video is outstanding. Who needs all the instruments.....just bring the guitar out and get to it!

This is the ultimate mans wedding ring.....6 shots, .177 caliber....cool!

I can't remember where I stole these pics but I laugh every time I see them. This old dude is pissed about something.....and dirty.

Tough choice pt.1

I'm not much for scooters, they just don't do it for me but....if I had to it'd be this one!

A very fancy looking Laverda....Mmmmmm Jota.....

Moose in a tree.....'nuff said

Rad! Weird.....but rad..

You didn't think I'd leave you hangin' for the weekend did you?.