Monday, January 16, 2012

Ah Monday......and day two of a mean hangover.

Epic Hangover Day 2: Return of the Hurk.
I found myself in need of some distraction this weekend and since J and G were heading home, what better way than to hit the town?
What a great time, but I most certainly remember once again why it is that I don't get THAT HAMMERED. My buddy Jason (Miss Kitty's brother)and his lady Galilee came to town from Nashville last week and it was only right to send them home with a night of relaxation to reflect upon. The night started at the Montage restaurant in P-town. What a neat joint where I had probably the best Jambalaya ever, the only problem was that it didn't come in a bucket. If you don't mind the wait to get in, good joints in Portland have's WELL worth it. Good spicy Cajun food and group seating make for a good time.
They dig bikes too

Dunno for chopsticks, but this is the dining room....
One bowl-o-goodness

Afterward add 8-10 other good friends, one perilous dive bar and a total lack of restraint and you have the makings for a fine throw-down. 

I carry a 'smart phone'...fucking thing is certainly smarter than I am, and so I thought it would be neat to nerd-out and keep track of consumables for the evening. Now, I kept track of my own and I know that everyone else was putting forth the effort as well, we spent a shit ton on hooch:
-4 Coffee Nudges (before dinner waiting in the lounge)
-1/3 of a Rainier stolen from Miss Kitty during dinner
-1 Cap't & coke as a dive bar warm-up
-3 Jaeger shots
-a shot of Bushmills
-5 vile jello shots (it was peer pressure!)
(once again, yes this was just my list....)

Still kinda gives me the willies when I look at the list. Keep in mind, I'm a large Viking man, bears, wild boars and Huns fear me. That being said, it sure was a lot of hooch for one liver to absorb. I woke up actually fairly early around 9am on Sunday morning feeling fine, just fine. 

Then I moved. 

More accurately, my eyes cracked open and I foolishly thought 'Hey...I think I'm gonna be just fine' and attempted to sit up (baby steps) at which point I'm fairly certain it was the room that was doing the moving and not me. In truth I think the room was trying to eject me out the window it was spinning so hard. I tried the old drunks trick of putting one foot on the floor to 'ground' the spinning bed....I think I missed. I know the carpet SHOULD have been there but somehow I couldn't really manage it. Not good. 

Needless to say, while I did manage to drag myself out and onto the couch...that is where I stayed short the repeated visits to the head to...umm...purge myself. I did finally manage to keep some food down late in the evening so no worries of wasting away. This morning....well, I guess it's still going on. No hurling or twirlies but my innards are still vibrating all at different frequencies and my eyes feel like dirty ashtrays....but what a fun time just the same.

-Thor kept his pants all night!
-Nick wanted to go home hours before he managed it but couldn't waste a drink that kept appearing in his hand though.
-Brian got a rose from some random girl who may or may not have wanted him to go away. He did get a lot of mileage out of that flower though....
-Some random hiphopster thought J was famous (he IS making his living in Nashville music)
-an angry blonde bartender's ass got grabbed (by hiphop boy) and a minor street conflict occurred as a result. Who knew hiphop splattered?
-2 fingernails were obliterated by the air hockey table
-nobody in our party lost any blood
Nobody went home with this.....bullet dodged

This?....yeah mighta happened.....

If you find yourself around 50th and Division st. in Portland and you dig a good dive, check out the Scorecard. Great service and they survived us, that's saying a lot.

Also, in honor of an unofficial tradition and our pals at Tender Indifference:


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